Grumpy Old Man!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 by Dana.

Here is the scenario… You are a 78 yr old, curmudgeon that carries a cane but does not need one.  You are walking one block to the shared mailbox location in your neighborhood.  Your neighbor arrives home on his Harley after a long day at work, and his 3 herding dogs come out to greet him with excited barks and much jumping.  While greeting their master, 2 of the dogs spot a rabbit in the shrubs of home across the cul-de-sac near the mailboxes. The dogs sprint for the rabbit, but don’t really notice you.  However, they may sense that you needless fear them, although you are not a sheep or cow.  The dogs bark at you from a distance, probably because they can tell that you are a nasty old curmudgeon.  Dogs have a great sense for people!  Your reaction… throw rocks at them and wave your cane at them in a menacing manner.

How do you expect the dogs to react?  Of course, the dogs respond to the aggression with a show of force, especially the alpha female.   Now, as the curmudgeon, are you telling yourself that you are an idiot for provoking the dogs that are still 15-20 meters away that had no interest in you in the first place?  No… because you are a curmudgeon.  You are so old that rational thought is nearly impossible.

An intelligent person would realize the dogs are more interested in the rabbit than you, and that their master is outside watching them to make sure they don’t go any further than they should.  An intelligent person would realize that barking is not an indication of an eminent attack.  An intelligent person would not throw rocks and threaten dogs with a cane in plain view of the dogs’ master.

Switching points of view… As the dogs’ master, I am watching the dogs do their usual daily chase of rabbits in the neighbor’s yard.  Then I see an old coot throwing rocks at my dogs and waving his cane at them as if to attack, even though they are 15-20 meters away.  I call the dogs to return, which they do immediately, and after they are in the house, I approach the old coot.  I told the old man that I was sorry if my dogs frightened him, and that they were just interested in the rabbit they were chasing.  I told him that if he does not want the dogs to bother him, he should not throw rocks at them or wave the cane at them.  I’m trying hard to be polite!

The old curmudgeon just can’t take advice, because he threatens my dogs and tells me that maybe he should bring a gun next time.  This is where the politeness ends, because nobody tells me to my face that they are going to shoot my dogs that are in the neighbors’ yard.  I step toward him and let him know that he should definitely bring a gun next time, because he would need one if he is going to make a death threat on my dogs.

Do you have an old curmudgeon in your neighborhood?  I hope I’m not like that when I get that age.  I’d rather be like Sean Connery or Harrison Ford… they don’t wave canes at dogs; they date sexy, younger women!

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